…But a Woman’s Work is Never Done

There is an old saying that says, “A man may work from sun to sun, but a woman’s work is never done”. Before we get all lost in being politically correct, remember it is an old saying.

I wish men would recognize that managing a home is hard work. Combine that with the typical woman of today that also holds down a career and it is overwhelming. I am speaking from firsthand experience. My wonderful wife of nearly 40 years, who has shouldered the home management load all these years and spent 13 of those years home schooling our youngest daughter, fell and broke her right shoulder a few months ago. Because she was right-handed and because she has been in a lot of pain from the fall I was launched into the role of home manager.

I always thought of myself as a “big helper” to my wife and her responsibilities. I willingly did dishes and laundry when asked. I was quick to go to the store for a last minute need or take her out to dinner if she seemed to have a bad day. I even remembered to buy flowers a couple times a year. I thought I was very supportive.

After a few months of trying to manage a career and manage a home I have come to the conclusion that men have no idea what their wives go through day in and day out. Even those of us that believe we are a “big help” need to get a clue. Most men are only “scratching the surface” of what they could do to share the load.

Just when I thought I was getting control of the situation because laundry was getting done, groceries were bought before we ran out of something and dishes we under control, I realized we were growing the largest dust bunnies in captivity. (Where do those things come from anyway?) Now I have added sweeping, vacuuming and mopping the floors weekly. I am beginning to think about dusting the rest of the furniture, cleaning the counters, windexing the mirrors, etc. Is there no end to this list of responsibilities?

I would challenge men to watch and see how much down time we have compared to our wives. Who gets dinner ready when you both get home from work tired? What does the typical weekend look like for both of you? Be honest with your assessment. It may be the best thing you ever did for your marriage. Remember another famous saying. “If mama is happy, everyone is happy”. My guess is if your wife was not so tired you would be happier as a result.

An answer to this dilemma is to write down every home management responsibility, categorize them into daily, weekly, monthly tasks and work on the list together. If you have kids old enough to help without breaking things, draft them into the process. I say draft because they won’t volunteer. The work won’t kill them and they might learn a skill they will need as an adult. On-the-job training is still the best training method I know. I remember when one of our daughters broke into tears after being asked to clean the toilet. As a grown woman she has survived that task many times in her own house over the years.

I know guys you are tired when you get home from work. So was I. But I bet your wife needs your help. Be a hero and get into the game. I am sure she will appreciate your efforts.