After 30+ years of managing people and being a father of 4 and grandfather of 9 I have recognized that there is a parallel between managing and parenting. There is one over-riding truth. For the best results both must be done intentionally. Guiding people to be the best they can be in an area of life takes work. It cannot be done without study and understanding.
Everything in life is learned in stages. It doesn’t matter if it is a life skill like walking or a vocational skill like the ability to design a website. It takes many building blocks to accomplish both. Also, we never actually finish the learning process. The fastest runner in the world is always striving to understand how to set the next record. As soon as a web designer creates their best website ever, new technology comes along and challenges them to new heights of learning.
The difference in guiding this talent to be the best they can be is understanding your “student” well enough to know “how” to get them there. There are a few key managing components that need to be individualized for each “student”. They are learning style, motivation, discipline, speed of learning and ultimately releasing control to the student.
Each employee (or child) has their own learning style. There have been many books written on learning styles. For example, I am a hands-on learner. It is difficult for me to learn how to do something from just reading about it. I need to touch it and feel it. The problem for the manager is it is natural to want to “teach” in their natural style but, unless your student has the same learning style as you, your efforts will fall short of what is possible.
Each is motivated differently. Some people are motivated by reward. Some people are motivated by recognition. Some need public praise where others need private recognition. This can be determined by a meaningful conversation with your student. They can tell you what feels right to them if they are comfortable being that open with you.
Each responds to different types of discipline. Some need a stern conversation while others will change their ways with an unapproving glance. Some people are “natural rebels” and need a firm hand to guide them. Others are “natural pleasers” and want to do whatever you want so they can make you happy.
Each learns on a different timetable. Also the same student will have different timetables for different situations. You cannot expect everyone to learn at the same pace. We learned this homeschooling our daughter. By second grade she was reading at a Junior High level. However it took her longer to understand mathematical concepts and she stayed closer to normal grade level. To me we are looking for depth of knowledge, not speed. If we want someone to understand a task so well that they can take responsibility for it does it really matter if it takes a few extra weeks to totally understand the process?
Each manager (or parent) must “know” the individual. If you try to handle everyone the same you will not get the best results out of them. You need to know your student and their style. Each must release control at the right intervals. The hardest thing to do as a manager is totally give up authority in any situation. If it is your teenager driving out the driveway alone in your car the first time or if it is giving total responsibility for a project at work to your employee, it is natural to feel apprehensive. Have faith in your teaching. They will survive.
Each manager (or parent) must let the employee (or child) take their own natural path in the learning experience if we hope to help them be the best they can be in any arena. Understanding the different styles and how to communicate with each style is the key to being a good manager or parent. The effort in acquiring this knowledge will be rewarded in the students’ results. It is the most rewarding thing I have ever experienced as a manager and a father.
Christian Life Coach 