We probably all remember the children’s story of the Tortoise and the Hare. A cute story with a surprising ending. Have you ever thought about how different they are? Could they ever become best friends? Can any two beings so completely different enjoy a relationship?
My wonderful wife and life partner of 50+ years calls herself a “turtle”. She is most comfortable with life lived at a steady, slower pace. God made her that way. She has an amazing ability to connect with people; even strangers. Because she is not always in a hurry, running from one thing to another, she has the sensitivity and the time to connect with people in need as God brings them across her path.
On the other hand, I live life at full speed. She calls me the “Energizer Bunny”. I am a list maker and the list drives me from one task to the next. I am redoing my “to do” list continuously throughout the day to ensure everything I want to accomplish is completed in the proper priority. If I am ever in a situation without my planner I am concerned I will miss doing something important. When life situations slow me down it is hard for me to set still.
It has been interesting learning to work in harmony with these two extremely different personal styles. To add to the relational mix, we are both “first-born”. If you are first-born, or know someone who is, you know first-borns are always trying to be “in charge”. Because of their birth order, they grew up “in charge” when it came to their siblings. The pattern carries on into their adult life. Add to those differences the differences between men and women, the fact I was raised in a small village and she was raised in a city, I like Country Music, she likes Classical, I like drinking from paper cups and she likes things to be more elegant, I am an early morning person and she is a late-night person and the differences go on and on.
I have heard it said, “opposites attract but later opposites attack”. We certainly have had our differences in the last 50 years, but I believe God has used those differences to first draw us closer to Him and then closer to each other (iron sharpens iron). I have recently told people the things about her that previously irritated me now are endearing to me. I find myself watching her and her “ways” and I break into a smile. She is my best friend and I love her and the differences.
I believe only our God could have led us to the harmony we feel together. In our human selfishness, we can only see “our way”. However, with the help of the Holy Spirit we can get a glimpse of what God sees; His child the way He created her (or him). We can enjoy the differences, reveal in His creation and find the blessing in a mate that is not a “cookie-cutter” copy of us.
I have shared before the question God taught me in a book I read. The question…is the situation that is bothering you more important than the relationship with that person? I have found that 99+% of the time it is not; the relationship is more important than the situation. When I know that, it removes the “need to be right” and replaces it with the “wonder of her differences”. It turns arguments and harsh words into harmony and blessings.
I thank God for bringing my “Turtle” into my life. She is a blessing to me. She is a blessing to our kids and grandkids. She is a blessing to our friends. I thank the Lord for giving me “eyes” to see the beauty of His creation; my Turtle.
Christian Life Coach 