Love is Selfless

I recently heard a sermon that was probably in the top 5 best sermons I have ever heard. I call this type of teaching “deep truth”. In the sermon the phrase “love is selfless” was repeated over and over. It was in the context of how we are called to respond to things when life is unfair or not going as we wish it would. When life seems unfair, what should our response be?

The paradox was wrapped up by saying Jesus’ suffering during His crucifixion was unfair because He did nothing wrong, but His love for His creation was so selfless, that He followed His Father’s will, not His own. Matthew 26:39 “My Father, if it is possible, may this cup be taken from Me. Yet not as I will, but as You will”.

The result of this selfless act was to unfairly remove the punishment deserved by sinners like you and me and give us the opportunity to spend eternity with our Heavenly Father instead of the punishment we deserve. That is selfless love.

I have been pondering that thought for a few weeks. I have come to believe it is the clearest definition to living a Christian life I have ever heard. A life lived seeking God’s will, not mine. A life putting others needs in front of mine. In Scripture, passage after passage is based on those three words, love is selfless.

Matthew 22:36-40 The two greatest commandments.

³⁶ “Teacher, which is the greatest commandment in the Law?”

³⁷ Jesus replied: “‘Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind.’ ³⁸ This is the first and greatest commandment. ³⁹ And the second is like it: ‘Love your neighbor as yourself.’ ⁴⁰ All the Law and the Prophets hang on these two commandments.”

All the Law and the Prophets are focused on our life filled with selfless love for God and others.

1 Corinthians 13:4-8 is often called the Biblical definition of love.

⁴ Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. ⁵ It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. ⁶ Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. ⁷ It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres. ⁸ Love never fails.

Galatians 5:22-23 the Fruit of the Spirit. Again, all characteristics are selfless.

²² But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, ²³ gentleness and self-control. 

Look slowly at the characteristics in these two passages; love is patient, kind, not boastful, not proud, does not dishonor, not self-seeking, not easily angered, no record of wrongs, rejoices in truth, always protects, trusts, hopes, and perseveres. Love never fails. The fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, and self-control. All selfless characteristics. It is the fruit of the Holy Spirit living in us.

On the contrary, 1 Corinthians 13:1-3 states how useless actions are without love.

¹If I speak in the tongues of men or of angels, but do not have love, I am only a resounding gong or a clanging cymbal. ² If I have the gift of prophecy and can fathom all mysteries and all knowledge, and if I have a faith that can move mountains, but do not have love, I am nothing. ³ If I give all I possess to the poor and give over my body to hardship that I may boast but do not have love, I gain nothing.

I am finding selflessness is a great barometer for deciding if I am acting as Jesus would in a situation or am I letting my selfish nature take control. We were born with a selfish nature. Any parent of a toddler can attest to that. We naturally see ourselves and our needs before anyone or anything else. Without the Holy Spirit’s help, I cannot overcome my selfish nature. As John the Baptist said about Jesus in John 3:30, “He must increase, and I must decrease”. So, it is with us. Our selfishness must decrease, and the Spirit must increase in our actions.

So how does that principle play out in my everyday life. How should I respond to the driver that cuts me off in traffic or the driver that is driving 20 mph under the speed limit or the one that can’t understand the rules of a four-way stop? Those are very real to me. When they happen and I get angry, then I feel the Lord say to me, “Who made you king of the road? What they do must not affect how you respond. Your impatience must give way to making room for others.”

Making room for others is the core of selfless love. Relationships with others are where this principle plays out the strongest. Other people have different ideas and desires. It can be what restaurant to go to or if we should make this major purchase. If we disagree, what should I do? A principle from a great book I read, Sacred Marriage by Gary Thomas, really helps me. The book suggests that I ask myself, “Is the issue more important than the relationship?” 98% of the time it is not. The selfless response is to listen to each other and decide together.

Walk your way through the Gospels. Look at Jesus selfless lifestyle. From Mary’s request to help at the wedding because they ran out of wine, to allowing His friend Lazareth to suffer and die so the Father would be glorified, Jesus’ focus was on others.

I love the interaction between Jesus and Mary. His question, “Why do you involve Me?” and her response to the servants, “Just do whatever He tells you” tells me she was confident of His selflessness. His emotional tears at the tomb of Lazareth show me that glorifying His Father was a higher commitment than easing the distress of people that He loved in the short term.

Father, I pray you continue to show us how to live and love selflessly.