2019 was a rough year for our family with our son Rob fighting cancer and finally losing his battle. After that trying to minister to his kids, Shelby and Robby. 2020 did not shape up any better. First, we started the year with the pandemic and in the late March my wife, Lin, battled major kidney stones. She was in the hospital alone for five days, because of COVID rules, recovering from the first step of the process, clear up an infection, and then sent home to lay in a hospital bed for three months until they finally were allowed to do surgery to totally remove the stones.
Only God knows what is on the horizon, but trials always make me ask the Lord what He wants me to learn from this. As I set here asking that question, the Peace of God came to my mind. What is it? How do we get it? How does it affect the current situation? Which fork in the road will bring us to that peace.
I find it interesting that, if we follow the path of studying God’s Word, He is able to pull from what He has already helped us clarify to answer the question of the day. I heard a pastor describing the “Fruit of the Spirit”. He said the first thing we need to realize is the word “fruit” is singular. The next thing we need to realize is it is the fruit of the “Spirit”, not the fruit of our efforts. It is not a list of things we try to do on our own one at a time. It is what happens through us when the Spirit is in control of our lives. We are not capable of this fruit on our own. Surrender to the Spirit is the path that takes us to God’s Peace.
That has made sense to me for a while now. I can see the fruit, or lack of it, when I recognize who is in control, the Spirit or me. After that came to mind, I began to realize we are talking about the “Peace of God”, not the “peace of Tom”. It really boils down to believing in the Sovereignty of God. You either believe He is in total control, sovereign, or you do not. The most important fork in the road in anyone’s life.
I came to this in a very interesting manner. Linda was is so much pain from the kidney stones that we had to call an ambulance to take her to the hospital. I was under a lot of stress trying to care for the person I love who was in severe pain. I could feel my blood pressure rising. I wanted to take care of her, but couldn’t. The ambulance got to our house and two guys began to help prepare her for the ride to the hospital. When I asked if I should follow in my car, they calmly said that no one can go into the hospital except the patient.
My stress went through the roof. I thought how scared she would be all by herself while in such pain. My responsibility from God is to provide and protect. As they lifted her into the ambulance I started to cry. They shut the door and drove away. At that moment, when I had absolutely no control of what would happen to her, and I simply choose His path and prayed, “Father, she is your child. Please protect her”, an amazing peace overcame me.
That peace is not the “peace of Tom” it is truly the “Peace of God”. I had no control and totally surrendered to Him. He not only is watching over Lin, but is watching over me. What an amazing God. It makes me wonder why I ever try to control anything in this world. Right now, it just feels foolish. I pray I never lose this understanding of how to choose His path.
Christian Life Coach 