Learning from Those Who Disagree With You

It seems to me that most people do not like to listen to other people talk about a topic that they disagree on. In fact, it is a cultural norm not to discuss topics that might bring disagreement like politics, religion, sports teams, music taste, etc. with a new acquaintance, especially if you wish to form a relationship with that new acquaintance; like a new business acquaintance or your future in-laws.

I have found it is important for me to listen to people with differing opinions than my own. Their conversation will either help me firm up my current belief because I really don’t believe what they said or their conversation will help me begin to change my opinion of the topic; a paradigm shift. If they have affected a change in my opinion, it creates an opportunity for me to dig deeper into the topic and reset my belief on that topic.

For any of us to believe that we are absolutely correct on a topic is concerning. I am not talking about things that are facts like the “sky is blue”. I am talking about questions like “why is it blue”? We all know it is blue, but do we really know why? Listening to people with knowledge and then researching the topic to form your own opinion is the secret to understanding a subject. However research is the key. Believing someone because they claim to know the answer is not always a wise decision.

For example I have worked in management of manufacturing companies for years. I have been reading books on management by the “current expert” for decades. Sometimes what they say I have found to be true. Sometimes I totally disagree. However, either way my opinion is firmed up. A current topic in my circles is “should internships be paid or unpaid”. The topic creates debate on the meaning of the word internship. Examples are used of professions that have always used unpaid “internships”, like student teaching. This debate has been going on for a few years. My opinion is stronger than ever. Slavery was abolished 150 years ago. If someone is working for you and providing value by doing work you otherwise would have to pay for then they should be paid. Listening to the dissenting position has only strengthened my opinion. Why is it acceptable for some occupations to pay for “on the job training” of the “student” yet others don’t. I simple don’t agree, but that is a different discussion.

We should not be afraid to let someone challenge our beliefs. Our belief will either be stronger for the experience, or we may find out we were a “few degrees off-center” or that we were totally wrong. Either way we grow and that is good. To have an opinion based on fact is important. Not an opinion based on feeling or emotion. Do you know why you believe what you believe on topics important to you? Listen to discussions from both sides, research what you hear and really “know” why you believe what you believe. Appreciate the challenge to your belief and grow from it.