Who Am I?

Have you ever asked yourself the question, “Who Am I”? Maybe it is my time of life, 76 years old. Maybe it is because I recently retired for the third time and am still looking for something to do. Whatever the reason, that question is on my mind.

Now retired and having two 19-year-old grandsons leaving their teen years and moving into adulthood, has made me realize there are three major life events that drive that question. Graduating from school, becoming empty nesters, and retirement.

The Trauma Cycle

Graduating from High School or College is the first traumatic readjustment. You have spent all your life that you can remember going to school. Monday through Friday you got up early, went to classes, did hours of homework, maybe had a minute or two to yourself, went to bed, and started all over the next day. You looked forward to weekends and vacations, but most of your life was scheduled for you.

Then it happens in a flurry. Final exams, graduation parties and suddenly you are on your own. Maybe you still live at home, but now what? You have certain areas of study you liked but how does that relate to a work environment? Where do you start looking for a job? What type of company and what type of work would you want to spend the next 4 or 5 decades doing? You can’t even imagine 4 or 5 decades. You have only lived 2 decades and most of that time you had no choice in what to do. So, you ask yourself, “Who Am I?”

You somehow survive that trauma. You find a career. You meet a wonderful person and get married. You have a couple of kids. Life is a little hectic, but you love your family. You have forgotten the trauma of your early twenties. You’re in your “new normal”. You help with homework. You go to little league games. You go to concerts and plays the kids are in. All this while working 40+ hours a week. It is busy, but  you are used to it and enjoy it.

Only too soon, the first kid moves out. They enter trauma cycle one, but you still have others at home to drive here and there. Before you know it trauma cycle two happens to you, the Empty Nest. You move your youngest child into a dorm or apartment and come home to an empty house. It is so quiet. You look at your spouse and think, “Now what?”. As the days unfold you ask the question again, “Who Am I?”

The next few years are a little weird, but you finally find another “new normal”. Work is predictable. Concerts and plays are replaced with spending time with your spouse again and time with friends. You get used to the empty nest, your new life. Grandkids are in and out. You watch your kids work through life issues. You watch the grandkids grow. You think back to when you left school and started working. You think about the early empty nest. Then the “R” word surfaces. People start asking you when you are going to retire.

You think I have too much energy and too much to offer in the workplace to retire. What would I do with all that time? You think where did the time go? I have been (fill in your career) for over 40 years. I do not know anything else. “Who Am I?”

There are more than your stages in life that answers that question. As individuals, we are “fearfully and wonderfully made”. All through life’s transitions you are who God made you to be. You were born with natural gifts and abilities. These should guide us in the direction in each phase of life. When you become a follower of Jesus, you are given spiritual gifts to be used in the Body of Christ. More guiding direction.

Natural Gifts/ Spiritual Gifts

We are born with certain natural gifts and abilities. Some people are very athletic, and some are not. Some people sing very well, while others of us can’t carry a tune. Some have photographic memories and can remember things in detail, still others’ memories are not so good. Some have a natural talent for art. Others like me cannot draw a good stick figure. The list is as long as all the potential characteristics of the human race. 

I have discovered in my years of being a dad and working as a recruiter and trainer that most people do not think their gifting is anything special. They will say, “anyone can sing” or “anyone can draw”. They believe because it is so easy for them that it is easy for everyone. If we think about it, we know not everyone can sing or draw.

Our natural gifts and abilities are who our Lord made us to be. We were born to be the type of person He designed. We can choose how we use these natural gifts and abilities, to honor our Lord or not, but they are His gift to ourselves.

Psalm 139:13-16 says-

¹³ For you created my inmost being;
    you knit me together in my mother’s womb.
¹⁴ I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made;
    your works are wonderful,
    I know that full well.
¹⁵ My frame was not hidden from you
    when I was made in the secret place,
    when I was woven together in the depths of the earth.
¹⁶ Your eyes saw my unformed body;
    all the days ordained for me were written in your book
    before one of them came to be.

Therefore, we were all created with specific gifts and abilities. Just as we marvel at the variations in nature, a maple tree versus a pine tree, or a domestic cat versus a lion, we can praise God for His creative ability to make each one of us with special gifts. Think about what comes easy for you. I have strong observation skills. All my life I have been able to coach others by watching what they do and suggesting an improvement. Math is another area I understand well. What areas are easy for you? God gave you those abilities to make you who you are and give you purpose in this world, no matter the stage of life.

When we become followers of Jesus, we are given by the Holy Spirit additional gifts, called Spiritual Gifts, to be used in the Body of Christ. Paul listed some of these in 1 Corinthians.

1 Corinthians 12:4-11

⁴ There are different kinds of gifts, but the same Spirit distributes them.⁵ There are different kinds of service, but the same Lord.⁶ There are different kinds of working, but in all of them and in everyone it is the same God at work.

⁷ Now to each one the manifestation of the Spirit is given for the common good.⁸ To one there is given through the Spirit a message of wisdom, to another a message of knowledge by means of the same Spirit,⁹ to another faith by the same Spirit, to another gifts of healing by that one Spirit,¹⁰ to another miraculous powers, to another prophecy, to another distinguishing between spirits, to another speaking in different kinds of tongues, and to still another the interpretation of tongues.¹¹ All these are the work of one and the same Spirit, and he distributes them to each one, just as he determines.

These gifts are different than natural gifts. The easiest way I have found to understand my spiritual gifts are to realize the gifts I have received after becoming a Christian. What is interesting to me is verse 7 above, “Now to each one the manifestation of the Spirit is given for the common good.” The Spirit builds the Body of Christ, “¹¹ All these are the work of one and the same Spirit, and he distributes them to each one, just as he determines.”

Spiritual Gifts are different from Natural Gifts. Spiritual Gifts are given so the Spirit can use them “for the common good.” Spiritual Gifts are used in service in God’s Kingdom. Believers and non-believers have Natural Gifts. They can be used for anything. The challenge to the Christian is to use them in a way that furthers the Kingdom.

I like to use word pictures to communicate an idea. When the Spirit wishes to use my Spiritual Gift, I say I am a “glove on His hand”. He puts me on His “hand” and uses the gift He gave me to do what He wants to accomplish. We are the Body of Christ. The Spirit has no other body. If He wants to share a message, He uses the speaking gift of pastors or other believers to share it. If He wants to feed the hungry, He uses cooks and others using their gift of service to give out the food. He accomplishes His plan using the Spiritual Gifts He has given to His Body, the Body of Christ.

Who Am I? by Casting Crowns

Casting Crowns performed a song called Who Am I? It has amazing lyrics.

You can find it on U-Tube. It is even better with music.

Who am I, that the Lord of all the earth
Would care to know my name
Would care to feel my hurt?
Who am I, that the bright and morning star
Would choose to light the way
For my ever-wandering heart?

Not because of who I am
But because of what You’ve done
Not because of what I’ve done
But because of who You are

I am a flower quickly fading
Here today and gone tomorrow
A wave tossed in the ocean
A vapor in the wind
Still You hear me when I’m calling
Lord, You catch me when I’m falling
You’ve told me who I am
I am Yours

Who am I, that the eyes that see my sin
Would look on me with love
And watch me rise again?
Who am I, that the voice that calmed the sea
Would call out through the rain
And calm the storm in me?

I am Yours
Whom shall I fear? Whom shall I fear?
‘Cause I am Yours
I am Yours

That song says it all to me. Who am I? I am His and I am here to do His will whatever the season of life I am in. He is our amazing Guide. Praise His Name!